This is a very frequently asked question by people of all ages and persuasions.
Whether you are the ring leader for a group of mates going out for a drink, a busy parent trying to figure out where your group of friends should go after your monthly dinner before the babysitters finish, or organizing the after party plans for your 21st birthday, this is a perennial issue.
Here are a few tips from my experience:
Start the conversation early
Even if people can’t decide it helps people brainstorm and also get used to the fact that they might not get to go exactly where they want. Find the form of communication that your group usually uses – this could be SMS, Facebook, a group email, or even on the good old fashioned telephone! Whatever the medium, get the conversation going and ask people what they want to do after suggestion a few options which you think could be a good compromise. A pro tip: Use collaborative mediums that allow everyone to participate in a single discussion – Facebook, group emails or forums are good for this!
Shoot first for a meeting place not a final destination
Trying to get everyone to agree where to spend the whole time is a fools game. What you usually want is for everyone to be together in a place. Go for that first and work from there. If half the group wants to go to a pub and the other half a club, arrange to meet at a funky bar half way in between for pre drinks. Once your crew has a set starting place then the event is officially on. From there you can work on clarifying the details of how the night should progress from there.
Plan multiple location stops to keep multiple people happy
If you have two or 3 main places that the people in your group have suggested then suggest a crawl. This serves 2 purposes:
1. If some of the people are definitely keen on their location they will agree to the crawl so they get to do their thing.
2. If some people aren’t that keen on their location they will thumbs down the crawl saying “It’s too much effort”. This shows you that they are saying they REALLY need to do (whatever), but in reality they are just being stubborn or they have something else going on in the background that they are not comfortable to bring up with the group. You know you can proceed without their location and they will probably come anyway.
Create a “mission” for the get together
If you can create a mission that is in alignment with the needs of multiple members then location becomes less important. If everyone in your group wants to go shopping for clothes but they cant decide which shopping centre, create a mission that excites as many people in your group as possible – maybe “Let’s see who can get the coolest hat for less than $20”. Steeling everyone around a fun or important mission makes people less concerned about the location.
“Hook up a sweet deal” for the group
If the group is split between two choices find out what the offering is at each and come back to the group. If your dinner group is split over 2 restaurants then informing your group hat one of the two restaurants has offered to sit you on the balcony overlooking the water will be a tie breaker allowing everyone to settle on the location that has gone the extra mile to win their custom.
Don’t invite people who didn’t show up, made a fuss during organization or made a fool of themselves at the last get together.
This can be a hard one, especially if that person is a close friend, but its worth stating. Many groups can be unable to reach a resolution because of the lack of integrity or selfishness of one of its members. Knowing who in your group is the odd one out when it comes to going out in a group will make your life as a host a lot easier. Make the time to go out with this person one on one and talk to them about your reluctance to invite them out in the group so they know how their behavior is making your role in the group very difficult. In my experience one of three things happen at this outing:
1. They sheepishly inform you that they don’t like hanging out with the group for some reason, or
2. They apologize and vow to do better
3. They get upset and need some time to process and then they do either 1 or 2 above.
These are just some things I’ve learned through assisting thousands of people get groups together to party over the years.
I’m sure there are many more good tips – please post them up so we can feast on your hosting knowledge!
