Shanghai Host With the Most

I hate traveling. But I like learning about the world so I travel internationally a few times each year, mainly for education and conferences or with my partner to have some time for just the two of us.

When I do, I spend a disproportionate amount of time eavesdropping on the conversations that people have with the concierge. I have learned so much about how to be a good listener and a good host from these conversations.

With an hour to kill before the start of a conference in downtown Shanghai this year I found myself a perch on the side of a very expensive smelling leather lounge just to the left side of the concierge desk at the Hyatt on theBund and proceeded to pretend to check my email whilst listening in to the conversations that were going on. I was homesick and quite tired and wanting to hear what the concierge was like before approaching them – I’m a bit shy this way, and also very curious when it comes to observing professional hosts.

There were lots of questions, loud, quiet, urgent, relaxed. One lady wanted to know why the local shop keeper would not accept the local currency she was offering (her money was counterfeit, as it turned out. She was quite embarased!). A young man wanted to know if it was safe to walk around after dark.

But one brief but intense conversation stood out for me: There was a man who was stranded for a few days due to a company meeting being postponed. He was upset and worried, storming about how he now had to change all of his plans and rework his schedule, but within a matter of minutes the concierge had found out the real issue.

My hearty went out to this guy, but more than that I was amazed by the concierge’s communication skill, confidence and style. I’m not sure how this story turned out, but the concierge got a broken man back into action in just a few minutes.

I had to listen so hard they were speaking so quietly. The man was upset but also didn’t want to discuss a personal concern in such a public space. I watched the smartly dressed concierge lean in and get the man’s full attention so he would not notice the thirty or so other people in this vast lobby and he spoke in a tone that rose and fell with the mans shifting emotions. Then he did something really brave. He asked the man what was upsetting him most.

The man lowered his voice and cursed about these #^&^%@$’s who had postponed the meeting and his @$%*$# team back home not preparing well enough and how his whole day would now be spent reorganizing. He was very angry. The concierge listened and was at the same time looking up something on his computer. Once the man was spent, he then asked some more questions.

He asked how long the man had been travelling for, and when he expected to get home. The man said he had been on the road 3 weeks, but then when he considered when he would get home I saw the mans expression change. He visibly paled. The concierge asked another question, a bold one:

“Are your family inconvenienced by your delay, sir?” The man leant forward and just glared at the concierge. I thought he was going to head butt him.

The concierge leant in toward the impending head butt: “A man last week was delayed and missed his anniversary. I helped him make a movie to send to his wife.” The man leant forward further still – the concierge put his hand on the man’s shoulder. I was shocked: he was sort of crying: shaking a little and his breath heaving. No tears, but this man was obviously upset.

People were looking on but the concierge kept the mans attention. “What are you missing at home, sir, I want to help you make this right.” I was listening intently now as the two were speaking in whispers. Finally the man spoke. I’m missing my baby’s special day. I don’t deserve to be a father or a husband.” He was really crying now.

Concierge: “Yes you do, and we are going to prove it. What does your daughter like more than anything?”

“To see her dad – we have been planning her day over the phone.” Now he is angry again.

The concierge is typing – looking things up.

“Sir, how old is your daughter?”

“She will be turning 11.” Now the man is curious.

“Sir, do you have a lot of flier points? You are a good father and husband. Fly her to China. Your company has demanded you stay. Maybe they will fly your wife here as well. Do you want me to call your PA? I can move you from your suite to a twin room and help with an express visa. What does your daughter like to do?”

The man is now in a trance, and I am gob smacked. It’s eerie. Time slows down for me for a few second as I look around. Has anyone else in this whole lobby noticed what just happened here? Apparently not to any great extent. The man stands up really straight. He looks the concierge right in the eye. Then he just asks one question. “Will you be here in two hours?”

“Sir, I will be here for three more hours and I will leave notes for the incoming concierge. If you need anything just call. I can help organize what ever you need.

The man turns and lunges at the arm of his rolling luggage. He catches a glimpse of me smiling over the blank screen on my powered down laptop. He turns back to the concierge, and this time it is his arm reaching out.

“Thank You…”.

“Sir, if you need anything call me.”