Jesus…Lord of Hosts!

As some of you already know, I often rave about how awesome a hosts Jesus was. So it was a welcome reminder to me when Sarah Graves pointed out that Jesus is oft referred to as the Lord of Hosts! I know it MIGHT be meant in a different context, but I’m going to assume for the next few paragraphs that Jesus simply is the patron that all hosts should look to for inspiration. Lets try it on for size and see how he shapes up!

Whether Jesus actually existed, and whether he was a divine figure, is up for debate. Christians are 100% sure, historians debate it hotly, and lots of people don’t mind either way, so lets agree to believe what we believe, move past that and just look at the figure of Jesus and what he stood for.

The main things I would put out there are:

o   Giving is more satisfying than receiving. Is this not at the core of any host?

o   Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Every host knows how to make people comfortable. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute, and all will be revealed.

o   Turn the other cheek. Not everyone will like the fact that you have so much love inside you that its spills over. Just keep on loving. So many antagonists will come around in time; the rest will disengage if you don’t return their negative energy.

So lets hope that you don’t get crucified for being a good host… I’m thinking that as we live in a more permissive society and you are unlikely to be dubbed the King of the Jews you are not in too much danger. So lets have a look at some examples of Jesus being the Lord of Hosts that can give us ideas and guidance.

Water into Wine – The marriage at Cana

This event was Jesus first major miracle, and one of his coolest. His disciples royally screwed the catering – they ran out of booze! Jesus wasn’t phased. He got the water and turned it into wine without delay. Don’t miss the lesson here. Be prepared to work a miracle. It can be done. At my house you will always find: 2 bottles of vodka in the freezer, 2 bottles of lime cordial and lots of ice. If I run out of booze at a party I can mix these ingredients fast to follow in Jesus footsteps and make sure the party is liquored up til late!

Loaves & Fishes

The feeding of themultitude is another well known event – Once again Jesus’ disciples are under delivering (they make me so mad – all about the hype!) – the have Jesus rostered all day on healing miracle detail while they cruise around the local villages bragging to the ladies about how they are down with the new guy in town, and of course people are flocking from all around and lining up for miles, but the disciples have put the event on in a really hard to find spot and have screwed up the food catering (sound like any festivals or events you have been to?). 

So, after a full day of healing the sick, with 4000 hungry people getting “no food bad mood” all at once, Jesus gets up, and promptly turns 5 barley leaves and 2 fish into food for around 4000 people. So next time you are at a party that has under-catered the food, ask yourself: what would Jesus do?

Here’s some divine insight I’ve had over the years: #1: Know which maccas and KFCs are open 24/7. Seriously. Call in and order, drive there and pick up and you can be back at the party in 15 minutes with chips, nuggets, dips and drumsticks. I guarantee the moment you walk in the door someone will say “Thank God…”. #2: I have 4 cans of chick peas, fresh garlic and lemons in my pantry, tahina paste in the fridge and 10 loaves of flat bread in the freezer. Ingredients in the blender for 20 seconds, bread defrosting in the microwave for 2 minutes. I can plate dips for 20 people in less than 3 minutes. Sweet lord of mercy, that will buy me time to get to KFC and back.

The Last Supper

This event forms the basis of the Eucharist that is celebrated every week by Christians when they drink wine and eat bread at church. I find what he said at the start of the party really fits well with me as a host. To paraphrase: This is my body and my blood. Every time you gather with people you love, think of me. Jesus knew that this was the last party he would be able to host personally, so he asked his disciples to remember every time they threw a party to think about what he had taught them. It’s important to remember that people come to your party to create memories with people they love. People know the blood, sweat and tears that you put in to make the party happen. Put on miraculous parties and remember that those who love you never take what you do for granted.

Indulge me, please, as I want to dig a bit deeper into the Eucharist

Every week Christians the world around re-enact the last supper, with the holy spirit transforming wine and bread into the body and blood of Christ. Have a think about this – Jesus was such a powerful host that he has inspired people for over 2000 years to get together every single week to experience their place in a global community and to remind each other that giving is more satisfying than receiving, to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and to turn the other cheek. 

So now you can see the big picture behind being a Host with the Most.

Miraculous hosts inspire others to do the same. If it wasn’t for my grandmother throwing insane parties all the time (she ran Australia’s first Sri Lankan catering outfit) I would never have been inspired to throw the 8732 parties that I have hosted in my life so far.

If I throw in the tea towel at 20,000 parties my grand daughter might miss her calling and a chance to experience a life that satisfies her soul daily as it nourishes the bodies and hearts of those around her – her family, friends, work mates and her wider community at all levels.

Christmas Party Checklist

With Christmas just around the corner I thought why not make a bit of a checklist of some of the things to keep in mind for a good Christmas Party.

This is just a quick list of some of the thinks I do to make sure my Christmas shows go off without a hitch.

Who, what, where, when, why, how!

Clearly and briefly defining these 6 considerations can make the whole process much simpler from the start, and provided you with the info you need for your invitations and your theme and logistical considerations

Guest list

Knowing who you want to invite is key – it will set the context for all the other planning, so get this done first up.

Theme

Now that you know who is coming, decide on your theme. This will set the context for the decorations as well as help with your invitations. It can be a simple theme like “getting the family together”, right thru to something more elaborate that implies dressing up or specific decorations, like “The 12 Days of Christmas” or “Surfie Santa”

Menu

Food and drinks will often play a big part in a party so consider carefully what you would like the menu to look like – this will allow you to then organise or delegate the food delivery for the day.

Music

A little thought in this area can go a long way to improving the atmosphere at your party – even something as simple as a Christmas CD or live stream can make a big difference!

Room Set

Have a quick think about how to lay the room out to maximise the comfort of your guests. All together at one table, or some different areas for them to gather in small groups? Will they be close enough together to hear each other talk? Will they have enough shade? Will it be too hot, cool or windy? Make sure they will be comfortable!

Decorations

Once again a little effort can go a long way – even if its just some tinsel on the eaves and some crackers and a wreath on the table it will help set the tone for your day. These days most of this stuff can be sourced easily and cheaply from your local supermarket.

Fun

Have a quick thing about what fun things can be done quickly and easily. Crackers and Secret Santas are super easy fun ways to add some excitement to the day!

Documenting

Have a think about how you might document the day – it could be as simple as taking some photos with your phone and posting them up on facebook, through to asking someone to take photos or video on the day. It’s great to share the memories with those who came and those who didn’t make it alike!

Invitations

These can be as elaborate as a physical invitation, which you can now get well priced online, or as simple as an e-card, email or text, depending on how much you want to communicate the importance of the party to your guests. But make sure you invite people with a clear statement of who, what, where, when, why and how and let them know how to RSVP.

Purchasing

Now that you have you plan clear and your invitations sorted out, get all of your purchasing in order so you can make your party fit your budget. Get creative – asking people to bring certain things with them – food, drinks, decorations, cameras, music, etc, can really help with costs and make people feel involved.

Logistics delegation plan

With your event priced up, now you can delegate the jobs that need to be done before the day and on the day. Keep this plan recorded somewhere so that you can check back with people to make sure all of the elements of your party are on track.

RSVP and Follow Ups

Don’t forget to follow up with people about RSVPs and also the jobs you have delegated to them along the way – it keeps people excited and makes them feel involved.

Meet & Greet

Remember to greet people on the day or have someone specifically appointed to do this if you prefer to organise behind the scenes – settling people in and making a few introductions and getting them a drink will help them relax into your event fast.

Serving

Think about your service plan in detail before the event and keep it as simple as possible. Remember the basics – do I have enough serving bowls and spoons, plates, cutlery and cups? Seats? Is there enough space in the fridge and freezer or do I need to get some bags of ice as well?

Pack Up

Don’t be shy to ask a few of your nearest and dearest to hang out afterwards and help you pack up – it can be as fun as the party itself!

Follow Up

Send out some photos of the day and a thank you note, by email, text, facebook or mail. Your guests will appreciate the sentiment!

I hope this list has jogged your mind with a few things that will make your Christmas party just that little bit better. I hope your Christmas party this year is the best you’ve ever thrown!

What REALLY made our wedding awesome?

As a host, naturally I was determined to make our wedding awesome. Sarah and I had been friends for nearly a decade and so for me the wedding was a celebration, the joining of our families and a time for us to make a bold commitment for our life together.

Ive had a think about, with all the things I did, what I can actually remember vividly now – this is a list of the things that made THE difference!

Deciding on what the take away was very clearly, before we planned the “bits”

We spent most of the planning stage homing in on just two very clear outcomes that we wanted to achieve – one for us as a couple and one for our guests. This process was fundamental and made the rest of the planning process easy.

What 2 outcomes did we choose? To have our families realise how massive and awesome the other family was, and for us to be together, relaxed and present in the moment for the whole day.

Very clear timings

Having very clear and recorded timings for the whole day was an excellent move for two reasons – it forced us to scrutinise the logistics and make list of little adjustments that all added up to a very smooth day with clear expectations of what we would get out of the time we had, and it also meant that we were able to delegate the management of the day to someone else and just enjoy ourselves.

Someone else in charge on the day

This was a great move – it allowed us to just go with the flow on the day and just be present for each other an our guests – this meant that we had a full and vivid experience of every part of the day.

Fitting the day to the outcomes, tradition be damned

We knew all the traditions and included many of them, but we didn’t make our day fit tradition – we chose what worked best for us and our guests and then fitted what tradition we could around that.

Taking time for just us

We made times in the day for just the two of us to be alone together – 10 minutes here, 15 there, throughout the day, just to reflect on how everything was going and regroup for the next experience. This made us all the more present and allowed us to create some memories personal to just the two of us.

Family trees

We put up family trees so that everyone could see how everyone was related – combining this with name tags that listed both the person’s name and also how they were related to us helped people connect and bond fast!

Awesome speeches

Well spread, short, funny and sentimental speeches punctuated the day, allowing many key people in our lives to relate stories to the group – this not only provided some great memories, it also helped people get to know the people closest to us so that they could connect with them more easily

People dancing

Having a middle of the road mix of dancing music and food and drinks served steadily throughout the day meant that people were comfortable to dance the night away for many hours – this allowed people to bond through partying together, and provided great fun for everyone.

Great photos

Having a lot of great photos meant that we are able to share our memories with everyone for every – people still comment on them almost daily 2 years hence!

Being together the whole day

This was our best move! Tradition be damned, we spent pretty much the whole day together. Why would I want to be separated from my wife for a second longer than necessary on the most special day of our lives?

I hope this jogs your mind a little for your next party – some thought before hand can make a big difference for you and your guests!

Hospitality HR - Guest Blogger Anthony Siklich

Hiring staff in hospitality can be challenging often because the age of prospective staff makes it difficult to tell whether they’re going to be successful in the role. Really, it’s not even their age but rather the lack of opportunity they’ve had to demonstrate what they’re great at. Lots of applicants to Griffin Alliance will have gone straight from matric to uni and won’t have an abundance of work experience to talk about in an interview. Because behavioural interviewing attempts to gauge how well someone will do in a future job on the basis of their past jobs, this can cause problems.

 

But that is the inherent difficulty in hiring in hospitality. Often, the people drawn into it are in periods of transition in their lives and my experience has been no different – university and TAFE can be bubbles in life between adolescence and adult maturity.

In the case of Kowalski Studios, an electronics start-up of which I am a part, we had great trouble in hiring an industrial designer. We were specifically looking for someone in uni because we knew we couldn’t afford to hire a full-time professional. But of the applicants we had, none of them had really ever worked as an industrial designer and it seemed as though we couldn’t know how well they would do in the job. To try and tackle this, we instead focused the interview around the applicants’ uni degree. For example, we needed to get a handle on whether the applicant could work in an entrepreneurial and team-based environment. To do this, first we asked the applicant what major group assignments he had completed at uni and then used basic behavioural interviewing questions to see if he was a team-player – what were the high points in the assignment? What challenges were there? How did you handle those challenges? What was the result of the assignment? Getting the name of the course coordinator was necessary, here, so  as to ensure that the answers were truthful.

 

For Griffin Alliance and in the case of deciding whether to bring new DJs on board, the technical ability of a person coming on board is important but ultimately secondary to the larger concern of whether they have the same values as Griffin does. The value of past work experience is that it lets an employer check whether the applicant will fit into the culture of the new workplace. If you’re finding applicants do not have that wealth of past experience you need, try looking outside of areas you would normally consider and gauge how much of a match the applicant is for your workplace.

If the job you’re hiring for isn’t too technical, then remember that an incorrect hire will often cost five times their salary – their skills in the job is a saving on training, but will cost you in the long term with respect to their productivity and ultimately firing them and hiring a replacement. It may be better sometimes to look for the few gems an applicant has to display their work ethic and then train them to do the job. Even in a transient industry, staff retention remains vitally important.

Setting Up Your Party Space

Something I fuss about a lot as a host I how a room is set up before, and how it is maintained during, an event.

I’ve noticed that creating and maintaining a great room set gets the party going much earlier, with less people and drinking required to make it fun, and also has people stay at the party a lot longer – it can often be the difference between a great party and a flop!

Here are the main things I focus on:

Layout: I make sure that I think about how I set the room up and I look at all the furniture and decorations I have and try to maximise what I do with what I’ve got. A little thought goes a long way.

Lighting Profile: Indirect light and moving light get people feeling comfortable and make the room feel warm. Also making some areas bright so people can see each other really well and other more dim so people feel more comfortable to dance or pair off gives people more social options throughout the night. Finally having things brighter at the start of the party and dimmer at the end as people settle in can allow them to feel comfortable in meeting new people at the start but also have them stay longer and chill towards the end.

Temperature, Shade and Air Flow: People very often forget to think about this. Will people have to stand in the sun, or have the sun in their eyes? Will there be annoying draughts from open doors or air conditioning that will unsettle your guests? Are the key socializing areas going to be at a comfortable temperature? Remember that you want active areas like dance floors cooler than chill out areas.

Sound Profile: What music style and intensity will suit people throughout the night, and will it be louder in some area than others? Where you want people to dance make it upbeat and louder, where you want them to meet each other and connect then quieter and more moody.

With sound, temperature and lighting, consider all the resources at your disposal. A little thought and effort can make a huge difference for your guests. Think about how they will respond to all these factors and make it as comfortable as you can!

Seating Position: This is my pet thing – I am fascinated by how people settle seating in a room, and have been a keen observer and experimenter for years. Ask yourself: will people feel most comfortable sitting in a few large groups of more smaller ones – I usually find multiple settings of 4’s and 6’s work much better tan a few for 10-12. I also notice that seats against walls and in the middle of a room settle last, with settings close to walls but with chairs all around that are in corners of rooms settle first.

Seating Height: Sort your seating and tables into heights and put height appropriate furniture in different areas – high tables and hairs are great around dance floors, bars, entrances and kitchens, dining level seating is great for general meeting and socialising areas and rooms that connect chillout and party areas whilst couches and coffee table work best in you chill areas. If you make each area just one type of furniture its much easier for your guests to decide what areas they want to be in at different times throughout the night.

Shielding: Protect the shy and the party makers and make it as easy for them to feel comfy as you can. A few balloons at head height in a room make it much less intimidating for shy people. A few well placed plants, screens or drop sheets around a dance floor can have party people comfortable to dance far earlier at your event.

Thresholding: Spreading out furniture to make a room full with less people in it means that people will feel like your party is a sucess far earlier in the event. This makes a big difference to how likely people are to leave. The less people who leave, the longer your party is considered to be “happening”.

Getting the layout, mood and seating right and keeping it right throughout an event makes a massive difference to how successful and memorable you gests perceive it to be. Experiment, learn and have fun!

How to invite people you don’t know…

Well, first of all lets look at why anyone would you want to invite someone the don’t know to something in the first place – here are some reasons:

To meet new people and make new connections – if you want to meet new people then inviting someone you don’t know to something is a great skill to have.

To introduce people who are a good match – if you want to connect people to one another then often you will need to extend an invitation to something that will allow them to connect in a useful way.

To create a new community – if you want to be a social leader and get people together around an idea then inviting people who you might not be very familiar with to things that are new for them is often at the heart of what you do!

What makes it awkward?

So many people I work and socialise with find inviting a stranger or new acquaintance an awkward experience and I can see why – connecting with and getting a commitment from someone who you have only just met presents a significant communication challenge. What I have often found lies at the heart of this feeling of awkwardness is that none of us like to be told “No”.

We make “No” mean a lot of things that it probably doesn’t mean at all – that we are annoying, that the person is not nice, that we are not likeable; that what we are inviting them to is no good. Being told “No” can be confronting for many people so I would like to have a quick look at a different idea about what “No” means and then look at what reduces the chance of a “No” as well.

What does no mean?

I don’t know what know means – its such a general word anyway – but here’s a point of view that I like to place on “No” that has been very helpful for me in improving my ability to communicate. I make no mean:

“I am uncomfortable with deepening the connection I have with you, or I need more information.”

Now I’m not saying that this is what “No” means, but I have found that when someone says no and I then think about whether I have a deep enough connection with that person and whether I have given them all the information they need to make a decision it often gives me quite a few clues as to how to change my communication with them in a way that helps us both get more from our conversation.

With that out there as food for thought, lets cut to the chase and look at what works in communication. Here are a few things that work for me:

Transparent values – don’t be nice, don’t sit on the fence, don’t agree – just be yourself – express your opinions politely but with conviction. Then people can see who you are and can begin to relate to you on a deeper level. The more you share of yourself the more people will share with you.

Observing the rules of rapport - This diagram has really helped me think about how I build me relationships. It’s a great guide that helps me think about how I’m communicating with someone and where our relationship is at. Often when I’m struggling to connect with someone its because I’m trying to push the relationship beyond the level of rapport we have developed and I need to take a step back and just get to know the person some more. Other times I’m treating the person like a stranger when really our connection is deeper than that. The diagram gives me clues as to where I’ve gone wrong.

  

Inviting based on an established mutuality – If I’m going to invite someone to something then there needs to be some mutual reason to do so – if there is nothing that is shared between you that indicates an invitation is going to be good for both of you and help you deepen your relationship then don’t invite, get to know them a little better and you can see a clear connection between what they are about and the event you think they might like to come to.

Enthusiasm – is there any substitute for enthusiasm? If you really want someone to say yes, it shows, and it makes a big difference to their response. If you are mad keen for them to say yes, it happens more often.

Lets have a brief look at the big things that can get in the way of someone accepting your invitation?

Pressure – this is enthusiasm’s ugly twin. Tricking or coercing someone will make them say anything to get you to go away. It’s a silent killer as people won’t call you on it, so beware of your actions – if people are saying yes and then not responding to you later when you follow up with them, have a think about whether your enthusiasm is being perceived as pressure.

Lack of context – if there is no context for an invitation, no reason for you to make it from the other person’s point of view, then they have to make one up from what they know of you. This is confusing for them and can also lead to embarrassing misunderstandings.

Artificiality – the bottom line is if you aren’t really all about it, it shows. People can smell artificiality a mile off, so don’t go around stinking up the place!

So why is it worth getting good at inviting people you don’t know?

It’s a great way to become a social leader – world leaders don’t know every person they invite to elect them to office, but they ask them to vote for them anyway.

If you want to create communities that mater to you – whether it’s a sporting team, a business unit or a political party, to anything in between then being able to extend an invitation to someone you don’t know is going to get you there more quickly and more often.

If you want to attract likeminded people to you and create human energy and passion around the things that matter to you then knowing how to put yourself out there so these people can find you is imperative. How else will they know you exist?

How can a Host be Different? Breaking Business Bottlenecks in the Hospitality Industry.

So if you are awesome at something, good for you. 

But what about if 1000 other people are too? 

It’s not a great situation.

On the other hand, if you can be great at something that other people are crappy at and its something that really helps other people, your life is probably going to go pretty well!

Knowing this, I read a book last week that was recommended to me by a mentor. It’s a book called “Different” written by anerdy marketing professor called Youngme Moon.

I’m glad I took the time to read her book because it’s all about the benefits of being different in hyper mature industries, like hospitality!

So here is what I took from her book:

To win when providing a service to the people around you:

  Do the opposite of what everyone else is doing

  In an area that everyone is competing for a limited resource

            That makes a big difference for the people you serve

Her book really made me thing about how people in the nightclub industry all look around to see what the new marketing thing is that’s working and then they all just do the exact same thing and then do it more and more until it becomes ridiculous and the customer gets disillusioned: what used to be quite a cool new offer is now being thrust at them from by so many people as a hard sell.

Even fairy floss tastes pretty nasty when there’s an evil clown with a blow torch stuffing in your face and giggling quietly into the darkness.

In the past 15 years I’ve seen this happen with basically every good events communication approach. Think about mail outs – they were awesome in their day! Then SMS. Then we figured out to call people up and invite them in for drinks on their birthday. Then we added birthday drink cards to the offer. Oh, also, can anyone please sell me a ticket for the next music festival. I can’t seem to find out where to buy one. The “deal” is better than ever, but our client has become beyond disinterested and is sometimes even actively hostile to our “great news”.

Something’s missing. People don’t want more. They want something else. So what does a good host do?

What Youngeme Moon suggests is that we figure out a thoughtful and bold way to do the opposite, in a bottleneck area, that makes a real difference to the people we serve.

But what does that look like?

Well, I’ve been trying my little heart out for 16 years to create parties that people want to go to, that they find fun and memorable, and I’ve tried to invite people to these parties in literally hundreds of ways in that time. And what I can say is that you know it when you get it right because people who were yelling at you to shut up the day before respond immediately when you nail it.

So stop looking at the guy next to you in the shiny new car and get out there and experiment. You will know when you have a winner.

But remember: When you find something that works really well, start immediately to look for the next thing that will make you different: each stroke of party genius will only be different for about 12 months – that guy in the shiny car and everyone else is gonna try to copy what you do in a second!

DJ as Host

Here's a movie discussing how a DJ can be a great host - 

lots of practical ideas in the last 20 minutes - enjoy!

What Jobs can I do if I want to be a Host for a Living?

So many people ask me what jobs are good to do if you are a great host. But just making a list is so boring so what I will do is make a list and then look at what these jobs have in common to understand what makes these jobs, at their core, so similar.

Here is a list – its not exhaustive, just a quick pass to look at the range of roles that a host can excel at:

Door Person

Flight Attendant

Nurse

Speaker

Maitre De

Tour Guide

Celebrant

Concierge

Radio Anchor

Priest

Gigolo 

Master of Ceremonies

What do these roles have in common?

Well, a lot of things, but here are the 3 that really stand out for me.

Making something unfamiliar more comfortable for someone.

This is really a big one in my experience – is all of these roles the client is faced with something unfamiliar and the role of the host is to have the person feel comfortable with something which at first is uncomfortable. The willingness to understand that many things can be made more comfortable by easing people into them and encouraging and guiding them and the ability to lead people into an unfamiliar situation with gentle care is at the heart of being a good host.

Helping people through a specific occasion, rite or ordeal.

Whether it’s a wedding or open heart surgery, hosts help people move through a specific happening that must be passed through to reach a new place. No one likes flying to New York, but that flight must be passed through in order for you to be in the big apple. Hosts move people through a journey that leads to where they want to go, understands that it takes something for the person to get there and does everything they can to make their passage safe and successful. People place great trust in hosts to lead them in this way and hosts who do this well become the gatekeepers to many of societies most important rites of passage.

Creating the environment in which a new connection becomes possible.

Hosts allow people to safely move to a place where a connection is possible that was not possible before. Once a person realises a new connection is important for them the urge to make it becomes very strong but the risk of moving into an unfamiliar environment is quite intimidating for anyone the first time they must make the journey. Hosts make the environment in which this connection can occur more safe and guide people in their journey to keep them on track until they reach their new destination.

I hope this gives you some food for thought about how a good host enhances so many roles, and what qualities a host possesses that makes them so effective.